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stage name
Enya Salad
a list of current and past titles
Miss Gay Roanoke @ Large 2006-07
former 1st alternate to Miss Satellite @ Large
your real name
Joe
where you are from , how long have you lived in Roanoke
Originally from upstate NY, moved to VA when I was 8. Lived here until I was 18, moved then to Norfolk/Virginia Beach, then to Richmond, then to Charleston, SC (to finish college), then to Piscataway, NJ, then to Chicago, IL, then back to VA where I've been for the last 7 years.
are you out to family and coworkers if so did you find it easy or hard what good or bad things become of it
I am out to family and co-workers. I lead a fairly open life, no drama, no games. I never really had any problems with coming out, I have an extremely supportive family and outstanding group of friends (2nd family). Anyone who knows me knows that I'm very up front and honest about everything in my life, when you lead a good life, there's nothing to hide, so, when I say "what you see is what you get", it's true.
how did you become a performer and what happened to make you realize it was for you
The first drag show I saw was in Charleston, SC at The Arcade. The show featured "the showgirl of the south" Sable Chanel (who I was fortunate enough to work with several times before she retired), "the glamazon" Brooke Collins, and "the soul diva of Charleston" Edie Holliday. I instantly became a huge fan. I always had an interest in theatre ever since high school being in various plays, musical performances and different staged events. I knew I wanted that to be a part of my life no matter what I ended up doing, but when I moved back to VA, I suddenly realized I would have very limited options to be on stage. With the help of Jessica Jade (current Miss United States), my original drag mother, I competed in The Park's monthly talent night, winning on my 2nd attempt. Once I started to develop my own personality on stage, I began to travel to other bars and work at different events. I then began to work more regularly at The Park, Backstreet Cafe, New Beginnings in TN, The Satellite in NC, eventually Godfrey's in Richmond and APEX with Kristina Kelly in Washington, DC. I never expected to spend this much time enjoying what started as a creative outlet, but as long as at least one person leaves whatever event I'm performing at a little happier, then I've done my job and it was all worth it.
do you get stage fright, how do you feel while performing
After this many years on stage (in and out of drag), I've never really had "stage fright"... I will say it's odd being so comfortable on stage in so many different cities throughout the year because you never know what kind of crowd response you're going to get until the curtain opens and the lights come on.
What do like most about glbt Roanoke
What I like most about the GLBT Roanoke is the way the community is changing and becoming more visible throughout the valley. I work regularly at both bars in Roanoke and it's great to see the variety of people coming out to shows and events. Drag is not the only thing I do for a living, I also have a professional Monday to Friday job and it's so funny to go to work on Monday morning and have different co-workers walk up and say "what music did you do last night?" or "when are you performing again?" or "I brought my mother/father/boyfriend/girlfriend to their first show last night and they had a blast!!"
What would you change if you could about glbt Roanoke
If I could change one thing about GLBT Roanoke, it would be to help us eliminate the animosity between the different groups we have developed amongst ourselves. So often I hear "oh, the bears don't come to this bar because they do drag shows" or "the drag community don't want anything to do with the lesbian community" or my personal favorite "I love watching drag shows, but I couldn't hang out with a drag queen outside of the bar, people might talk". Give me a break!! Wake up people, we are all a small part of the big picture and none of us can survive without each other. How can we expect equal treatment from our elected officials and state representatives when we can't treat each other as equals? We all need to take a step back and think, "what can I do today to make a difference?"
What other clubs, groups, or organizations do you belong to
Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of free time in my schedule for groups and organizations. Between working a full time job, an average of 10-12 shows a month in various cities, working with Pride in the Park and trying to be a good friend and family member in my spare time, my schedule is pretty locked up.
info
I hope you've enjoyed a little look into my life, anyone who wants to know more or has questions/comments/concerns, please feel free to e-mail me, EnyaSalad@aol.com or check me out on myspace. WWW.Myspace.com/enyasalad
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Grace Lawson Coming Out Coming Alive Leap and the Net will Appear!
Q and A by Teresa Hoback
Another National Coming Out Day is approaching and change is in the air.
Gays are fighting for the right to get legally married and to be legally
protected against hate crimes and discrimination. Scientists are looking
for the gay gene. Gay themes are frequently seen in major TV shows. We
have GLBT cable stations, LOGO and Help and shows like Queer as Folk, Will
and Grace, Noah’s Arc, and the L-Word, which focus on the lives of
homosexual people. Openly gay people like Rosie O’Donnell, Melissa
Ethridge, and Ellen DeGeneres have successful careers that are building a
bridge between gays and straight people. And The Secret, a new bestselling
book by Rhonda Byrnes, describes a new spirituality, a new way of thinking
about God, the universe and ourselves. So, where are we headed?
We are running down the yellow brick road toward freedom - freedom in the
truest sense of the word. Freedom from discrimination; freedom to marry
the one we love; freedom from traditional spirituality; freedom to feel
good about ourselves; freedom to break down cultural walls, freedom from
labels of good and bad, freedom from society’s rules and government
propaganda, freedom from the “musts” and “shoulds” and “need tos;” freedom
from limiting beliefs about who we are and our value to the world; freedom
from separateness and freedom to pursue our dreams.
Grace Lawson, a lesbian and a life coach, has written a new book for GLBT
called Coming Out Coming Alive about personal freedom, becoming who you
truly are. This book will help GLBT people live authentically and achieve
their dreams. The book addresses spirituality, coming out, life change,
love relationships and provides an extensive resource section for GLBT.
Anyone who is coming out or who wants to change their life in some
significant way should read this book.
You may also want to participate in her next project, Lobster Bisque for
the Gay Spirit, which is a collection of inspirational stories about GLBT.
She is collecting stories for this book through August.
Some interesting excerpts of our interview with her are provided below.
Q & A
What makes you an expert on coming out and life-transformation?
I ended a 20 year heterosexual marriage, realized I was gay, came out to
my family and friends, embarked on three new career paths, found my true
love, and moved from fundamental Christianity to a deeper spirituality
within a one year period. During that time, I engaged a life coach, a
therapist, attended life coaching training and other self-help groups and
read over 40 books about life purpose, spirituality, and life
transformation.
You did not consciously realize that you were gay until 41 years old. Why
do you think that you realized this so late in life?
This is due to several factors. - Most religions do not encourage people
and in particular, women, to explore their sexual natures. - Successful
“normal” women are expected to get married. - Women are extensively
conditioned to conform to society expectations. Therefore we tend to not
even consider the possibility of any behavior that is “labeled” an
aberration from “appropriate” behavior. So my husband was the only person
with whom I had engaged in sexual intimacy. So when I didn't feel the
"fireworks" with him that you see in movies, I thought that movies just
exaggerated the power of love and sexual intimacy. Once I had sex with a
woman, particularly the right woman, I realized that the fireworks are
real, and I was without a doubt, gay.
Do you think being gay is a choice?
There may be some people for whom being gay is a choice. But I know it was
absolutely not a choice for myself and I don't think it is a choice for
the majority of gay people. Quite frankly, I was overwhelmingly shocked by
it. It was like God hit me over the head with a hammer and said YOU ARE
GAY! I never dreamed that the power of attraction could be so strong. I
certainly wouldn't have chosen to be gay with all the negativity
associated with it. But it was so powerful, that once I
experienced a relationship with a woman, I couldn't deny the truth.
What was the event that led you to begin wondering if you were gay?
My epiphany occurred when I met a woman at a workshop during the last
weekend in October of 2004. By the following Monday, I realized that I had
a physical and emotional response to her during the workshop but was not
aware of it at the time because my intellect was so engaged with the
activities of the workshop. I was in love with her and began fantasizing
about her as a partner both emotionally and sexually. I actually did not
end up with her, nor did I have sex with her for a
variety of reasons. But my response to her was so shocking that after a
period of attempted denial, I finally had to accept that I was a lesbian.
You moved from your fundamental Christian background to a "new age"
spirituality and simultaneously realized and accepted that you are
homosexual. What is the chicken or the egg? Did the realization that you
were homosexual drive a change in your spirituality or did your change in
spirituality open up a space in which you could allow yourself to be
homosexual?
My spirituality actually changed before I met the woman that made me
realize I was gay. I was going through a mid-life crisis and a marriage
crisis. I was constantly reading books trying to figure out why I was
unhappy and what needed to change. The ideas and concepts explored in
these books helped to free me from so many beliefs that I had been raised
with. It was as if God caused me to have certain experiences that changed
my spiritual views so that when I finally began to consider that I might
be gay, I was better prepared to accept that aspect of myself. So that I
did not freak out quite as much as I would have otherwise, if I had still
retained those original beliefs. So the core of my spiritual beliefs
changed before I realized I was gay. My change in spirituality did not
really allow me to consider I was gay, but it certainly helped me accept
it faster and with less pain and resistance.
Where can our readers get your book, Coming Out Coming Alive, or
contribute to your next book, Lobster Bisque for the Rainbow Spirit?
They can go to www.comingoutcomingalive.com to order Coming Out Coming
Alive or to submit stories for Lobster Bisque for the Rainbow Spirit.
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